I'm a Psychologist, Not a Mind-Reader!

Yes, I’m a psychologist but don’t freak out…I actually cannot read your mind.

I love telling my students the kind of reception I get at parties when people find out that I’m a licensed psychologist.  People usually have one of two reactions. They either, a) get into deep conversations with me or b) avoid me like the plague.  For those who opt for the latter, let me clarify a few issues. 

Here are three things psychologists are not doing.

Psychologists are not reading your mind.

Psychologists are not wizards and/or mutants equipped with the powerful ability to see people’s thoughts, whether we are in session or at a social gathering.  Even in session, we do not have access to your deepest and darkest secrets unless you choose to bring them up in the therapy room and make them a part of our therapeutic work together.  Contrary to what you might believe, you are actually in control of how your therapy sessions play out.  We must follow your lead.

Outside of their offices, psychologists are not analyzing you.

Ok, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t (sometimes) pick up on people’s patterns when I’m outside of the office.  But, I can tell you that I do not casually analyze people for fun.  First of all, in order to “analyze” anyone, I’d have to ask questions that are not appropriate for casual conversation.

Second, I have so much going on in my personal life that I cannot and will not practice my work in my free time.  When I leave the office, I leave my role as a psychologist.  If I didn’t, I’d be in big trouble.  I’d be tending to every person under the sun whilst forgoing my own needs and wants in the process.  This would be a bad scene.  My colleagues and I agree that the last thing we want to do when we leave the office is care take for everyone in the free world.  It is important for us to know our boundaries as professional caretakers and to leave work, at work.  

Psychologists cannot add or remove anything from your brain.

One of my clients told me that her father did not want to see a psychologist because he was worried that the psychologist would subconsciously exercise power over his behaviors, compromising his free will. 

Well, it is obviously impossible for a psychologist (or any human being for that matter) to magically open your brain and manipulate its structure and function as they see fit.  But, what I really want to address is the fact that transparency and honesty is a huge part of a psychologist’s work.  We must give all clients clear and transparent information about the definition of therapy, the (potential positive and/or negative) consequences of therapy, and the type of therapy and interventions in which we engage.  Ethically, we have to disclose our treatment plan and, only with your consent and collaboration, can we start therapy.  Now, if your psychologist has provided you with all of the necessary information but you are still unsure of him/her or confused about what you will be doing in session, talk to your psychologist about your uncertainty.  Ask them questions and express yourself.  It is our job, as psychologists, to thoughtfully consider the needs and the emotions of our clients.  

In sum, if you are someone who sees the benefit in seeing a psychologist, but feels apprehensive and skeptical, call around.  Talk to a few practitioners to see if they are a match for you.  Once again,  let me assure you that we do not possess superpowers that will deceive you - if anything, we are caregivers who, put plainly, just want to help.  Once you call up a few psychologists who seem to suit you, you will see this fact for yourself.